Sketches - 12 (August 20th, 2014)

12.

Sometimes a murk-glurk

darkness weighs down the

ordinary minutes of

accumulated days -

where as depression is

a state where nothing holds any

         meaning whatsoever

this is more of a dull edged

         anxiety.

One of millions of fish

in a vast swirl-ocean

heaving and gasping tearing

away at the shore an inch

every 50 years or 100 years

                  or so.

This slow dull dread feeling

comes as a result of putting

things off, simple things that add

up or one solid THING that

          takes over…

and the truth of accumulated

years is that if I face it head on

I am able to suppress it

having gone through it before

many times...therefore able

to change the way I react.

I watch everyone working

or more or less getting by with

exactly the same low level

certainty of anxiety - yet I have

no desire to be like everyone

               else.

Be that as it may, vacuous grocery store fronts

no longer have the old power

of bringing me down to the helplessness

        of a bug on its back, legs

        thrust up in panic twiddle

        at the humidity and dark

        sky dread.

(August 20th, 2014)

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